the BFF

Every evening for the first nine weeks of Miss Ma'am's fourth-grade school year was a living nightmare in our home.  There were questions raised as to the possibility of her having ADD and upon taking her to a behavioral therapist, we were able to find out the ugly truth.  Miss Ma'am had been TRYING to tell us daily that something was wrong but she just never would come out and say what, and I can't even tell y'all how devastated I was upon learning the reasons behind the aggression and the anxiety attacks that she had been suffering for all those weeks.

As per my norm, I won't bore y'all with the details except to say that The Momma had to intervene to ensure the safety and well-being of my baby girl, but all's well that ends well and she's my happy little bundle of sunshine again.  The "B" part of *her BFF* has fallen from the equation and it's still questionable at this point as to whether the two "Fs" will remain.

Through several months of sorting and rearranging lives, attempting to maintain guarded relationships and secure an overall state of security here on the homefront, I began to realize that I needed to redefine the term "FRIEND," not only for myself but to help my daughter, as well.

So, together we embarked on a journey in search of defining friendship.  We began our adventure by going to the easiest accessible source - a dictionary - and this is what we found:

A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.  A person who gives assistance.  A person who is on good terms with another, a person who is not hostile towards the other.  A comrade, an ally.

Miss Ma'am and I, together, decided that we liked this well defined version of "friend" but we felt other terms should be included when defining a personal friendship. 

Respect ... Understanding ... Not Possessive ...
Not Obsessive ... Two-sided ... Not Manipulative ... Trust

We determined that we could be a friend, even a Best Friend, to many and yet have none of our own. 

This provides Miss Ma'am with no more than the basic essentials to look for in a friend but I know, without a doubt, that in due time she'll redefine friendship time and time again based on her own standards, and - like always - I'll be here to help guide her should she request my assistance.

When she decided that she absolutely must attempt to repair a friendship that she hadn't broken, Oh! How I prayed that she could somehow manage to make it work without getting hurt again.  Not so innocent as herself, I know in my heart how this is going to play out and as much as I hate to see my baby hurt, learning from the choices we make in life are the greatest educational tools we have.

I do admire her determination but I weep silently
at her innocence that's becoming more lost every day.

With all this being said now, I'm going to leave the story revolving around Miss Ma'am here and define in my next title entry my own personal feelings and afflictions with Redefining Friendship.


This is USS Retired signing off ...